


Gundersen has a Pie Fetish

by julysunicorn



Category: Hell on Wheels (TV)
Genre: Food Kink, Food Sex, Lord knows I do, Other, Smut, hold on tight folks, you might need therapy after this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:48:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28898424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julysunicorn/pseuds/julysunicorn
Summary: The Swede returns to his tent one day to find a gift from his taskmaster Doc Durant. What follows is depravity... sweet, sweet depravity.
Relationships: Thor Gundersen/Pie
Kudos: 1





	Gundersen has a Pie Fetish

**Author's Note:**

> My friend and I did this thing where you pull strips of paper out of a hat for writing propmts and I got the Swede, pie, and romance... I don't know what pie was doing in there my brother wrote all the strips don't ask me why he was allowed to do so my friend let him. But it has birthed this... THING... it is horrible horrible I say. But there arent' enough Swede fics out there so I guess this helps? I just hope Christopher Heyerdahl never finds this it would probably break his heart he seems like a sweet man. Okay, stay safe, eat plenty of vegetables, and I will see you next time.

Gundersen has a Pie Fetish

Life wasn't easy for Thor Gundersen. It hadn't been since the day those Confederate troops ambushed his regiment.

Which is why he could hardly believe it when he spotted a still-steaming pie sitting on his cot when he came back from his chamber pot rounds.

"Eh? What is this?" he asked no one in particular, stepping cautiously up to the baked good. It was weighing down a note etched with familiar handwriting.

"Mr. Gundersen-  
As a thank-you for all the dirty work you do on behalf of the Union Pacific Railroad, I hereby award you this delectable blueberry pie. My wife baked it this morning and insisted you have it.  
You weren't "home" when I dropped it off, so I've just left it here for you.  
Sincerely,  
Doot Durant."

Gundersen lifted one brow, puzzled. Durant was never the charitable type. In fact, Gundersen would sooner believe there was a bomb embedded somewhere in his new pie. Worried, he took a nearby knife and carefully incised the pie, but the only thing he hit was the tin.

"I guess this gesture is genuine...?" he mused, beginning to feel a little tickled. He _did_ deserve a pie. He worked his fingers to the bone for this town. He had most definitely earned such a tasty... aromatic... _beautiful_ dish...

He gasped, and jumped back. What was he thinking?! Yes, the pie was wonderfully crafted, but that was no excuse for the raunchy thoughts running through his mind! He thought he had grown out of them.

But no... seeing that sassy little pie, sitting there on his cot, almost _suggestive_ in its placement, there was no way he could deny his feelings any more.

He wanted to fuck that pie.

"Do not worry, nydelig ting," he whispered as he stroked along its crust, "I will be gentle."

He unbuckled his belt and threw his trousers down it was time for loving. His member was already swollen and hot from just _thinking_ about that dirty little baked good. To tell you the truth, his erection started when he caught his first glimpse of it upon entering his tent. Holding the sides of the tin firmly, yet tenderly, he arranged himself to pierce the pie's latticed crust, taking its innocence with one cautious, shallow thrust.

"Aahhh..." he gasped, the crisp blueberries rolling out to accommodate him and the sauce enveloping his head in warm, blue love. It was almost too much. Part of him wanted to just stop here, savoring this tease, but the other, carnal side of him begged for more pie. And so he plunged himself the rest of the way in, and as he moaned out in ecstasy, he swore he heard the pie moan too.

He pumped into the sweet, sweet syrup, giving the pie all he had. All it deserved. This pie had waited so patiently for him to return, staying fresh and steamy the whole time. It was like returning home to find his wife had left a flirtatious trail of rose petals leading up to the bedroom. But the rose petals were horse shit, and the bedroom was his worn-out tent that he shared with the Reverend. Speaking of-

"Good afternoon, Brother Gund- WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!" shrieked Reverend Cole, he had just walked into the tent and stumbled upon the salacious scene.

"Uh, it is not what it looks like!" Gundersen cried but it was seasoned with the noises of his pleasure, the slapping of the coitus.

"Vile sinner!" Reverend Cole spat. "I refuse to share living quarters with a food fornicator!" He turned on his heel and left.

"... Now, where were we?" Gundersen asked the pie, and returned to his flaky little friend.

The pie was getting pulverized, its insides mushed into a sweet slurry. Blueberry sauce had splashed up on his shirt, up to his chest, his neck even - he felt the stickiness on his skin, and he knew it was the juices of arousal from his partner. He was almost there. The pie had already reached orgasm, her heated gasps reaching a fever pitch in his mind.

" _PAI!!_ " he shrieked, peaking at his pleasure, his body heaving as it gave the pie an entirely new topping. A topping of admiration and of the memory of their time together. Panting from exhaustion, Gundersen removed his sensitive member from the blueberry mash. It was twitching as it shrank down to its normal size, and as it shrank blueberry syrup was getting tucked up under his foreskin. Gundersen hurried to the creek to go bathe before his wanker got even stickier.

* * *

"Ah, hello, Mr. Gundersen," Durant said when he saw Gundersen enter his train car later that day. "I trust you found the pie?"

"I did indeed, Mr. Durant," Gundersen said, nodding. "I just wanted to thank you for it. It was a very generous gift."

"Well, you've been a very generous man," Durant said, giving one of his lying-through-his-teeth smirks. "It will mean the world to my wife that you enjoyed it so much."

"Oh, I did," Gundersen said. "I enjoyed it very much." And he gave a tired smile.


End file.
